“The More We Know, The Easier the Incarnation!”

Relationship Villains & Windows of Opportunity

When my Guide Group (the “GG”) first started to dictate material via automatic writing, it very quickly became clear to me that they had an important purpose in mind—and that is to help those of us on this side of the veil become consciously aware of what’s going on in our lives so that we can…

(1) achieve everything that we set out to do when we sat at that planning table and made our “To Do” list for this lifetime, and

(2) get those items crossed off our “To Do” list faster, and with much less drama and pain.

With the above objectives in mind, I’d like to introduce you to two concepts/tools that the “GG” have passed on to me to help us achieve our Karmic and learning goals while accelerating our spiritual development: Relationship Villains and Windows of Opportunity.

Relationship Villains

Is it possible that the people who annoy us the most, those we might consider to be our “enemies” in this lifetime, are actually our closest, most beloved, “universal” friends? Here’s how the “GG” first introduced me to the concept of “Relationship Villains”. . .

“We sit and plan our lives here on earth. We are here with many entities, all of whom play many different roles in our many lifetimes, and our point today is that it is those who love us the most who will play the role of the villain. This is because they love us enough to want to make sure that we accomplish what we wish to accomplish for ourselves—even when it means being perceived as the bad guy…The terrible things that go on, the ‘villains’ in your life, most times are really your most amazing friends because they are sacrificing so that you can learn and grow. Sometimes it seems as though we truly dislike or hate someone, but that entity in truth could be one of your most beloved friends outside of this incarnation–someone who loves you enough to do you a big favor.”

What a concept–our best friends are masquerading as villains! The “GG” went on to say that Relationship Villains can be found everywhere in our lives—they can be romantic partners, family members, friends, and even co-workers. When I first learned about the Relationship Villains concept, I found it difficult to wrap my head around. The more I meditate about it, the more I can feel the truth of it in my soul, but for me, studying this concept and putting the knowledge to use in my own life hasn’t been an easy road. And the mini-life review the “GG” had me complete to make sure I fully understood the concept wasn’t easy either—especially since they requested that I take a hard look at my past romantic relationships! I knew that was going to a painful walk down memory lane.

During that mini-review, I found lots of romantic Relationship Villains in my past, which is probably why the GG wanted me to start there. Let me start with the embarrassing scoop on the biggest relationship villain in my life: When I first met him, it was all compliments and fun—he seemed to love everything about me; but within days of becoming engaged, everything changed! It was almost like going to sleep with one person and waking up with another, as he tried to take control of my life. He attempted to separate me from my friends, and then from my family. Within six months, he wanted final approval on every purchase I made–from my clothes to dishtowels. I kid you not—I got yelled at one day for buying a new dishtowel without consulting him first! As the relationship continued, he found fault in the way I did my makeup, the clothes I wore, and he especially did not like my success at work.

At first I made excuses for him, but in the end there was fight that started to get physical, the police were called, and the relationship was over. My Guide Group tells me that I “exploded into my power” that day, and took back control of my life, which apparently, I’d been in the habit of giving away for quite some time. The “GG” also told me that this guy is actually one of my closest universal friends! I still have trouble digesting that, because who wants to think that someone who was mean to you is really one of your best friends when you’re on the other side of the veil? But according to the “GG,” only those who love us the most are willing to step up and play the role of “villain” for us (anyone can play the good guy!), and my “universal friend” was exceptionally determined to help me cross this lesson off my “to do” list! In retrospect (because 20/20 hindsight is always so clear!), I learned a lot of lessons from that relationship—not the least of which were learning to stand up for myself and learning not to compromise my beliefs. And it wasn’t his fault that I gave away my power—I did that of my own freewill.

A few months after this relationship ended, I met with my ex-fiancé for coffee and he apologized to me for the things he did. And since that last meeting, we’ve gone our separate ways. The “GG” say that this is typical with this kind of relationship—our mission together was over, and we both moved on.

Wouldn’t you think I learned enough by looking back at that relationship to spare me a review of other relationships? Not according to the “GG”! They wanted me to look at three other significant relationships and guess what I found? A pattern! Each one of them was essentially a kinder, gentler version of the controlling relationship I just described to you. Each one of my men, in his own special way, attempted to control me, and each time I let it go on until I reached my limit and ended the relationship. The big revelation for me here was that that I never really stood up for myself, I never really addressed the things that bothered me in a relationship, and I never attempted to work on or fix a relationship. In short, I didn’t communicate! Instead, I let each relationship get to the boiling point and then I left. And I did this over and over again, which brings me the next concept I want to tell you about . . .

Windows of Opportunity

So…I had the same relationship over and over! Ever heard of a “life script?” I’d heard that phrase but never thought it applied to me, although I see it all very clearly now that my eyes are open! And my Guide Group confirms that these guys are all my universal friends who agreed to play different variations of the “bad guy” role to help me learn the lessons that I insisted I had to learn during this lifetime. It took me a long time to learn the lessons because I didn’t see the pattern, I wouldn’t admit that I was living a life script, and I didn’t learn about windows of opportunity until after I’d already learned the lessons. Here’s some advice from the “GG” about scripts and windows . . .

“… recognize earlier on the life scripts that keep [you] in the cycle of Karma, and the windows of opportunity that will get [you] out of that cycle…Recognize that a particular situation is something [you] are here to work on, and [you will] take the steps through those windows much sooner to learn a particular lesson.”

It’s clear that each of my romantic relationship villains were individual “windows of opportunity” for me to stop handing over my power to other people, giving others control over my life, and learning to communicate within a relationship. Had I seen the pattern, the life script, or known about windows, I would have learned those lessons faster and with much less heartache. Oh, and, here’s a scary thought (for me, not for you!), the “GG” informed me that it’s a good thing I woke up when I did, because as they made sure to tell me: “Sherri, If you thought that last romantic window was a tough one, be glad you don’t have to see what you had planned next!”

I had something “bigger and badder” planned for myself? According to the “GG,” after we decide what we want to learn and accomplish during a particular lifetime, we then get to work planning how we will accomplish our goals—and that’s when our “windows of opportunity” are created. Picture this: You have a “laundry list” of things you want to accomplish during your incarnation; and this list includes debts you need or want to repay (Karma) and other experiences you desire to have for the growth of your soul. Like an outline for a book complete with chapters, you and your planning committee create a lifetime of windows of opportunity for you to accomplish the things YOU want to accomplish! You will even create back-up windows in case you don’t get it quite right the first, second, third, fourth, or even the fifth time you try. The windows are more dramatic, painful, and “in your face” as you miss one and go on to the next. Learning to spot these windows and take advantage of them is a skill that’s worth learning because the faster we spot our windows, the faster and easier we will complete our lessons—which means less drama and pain. The “GG” put it very plainly in their dictation for the book . . .

“… We should look…at the big picture by looking for script-like occurrences, and evaluating what’s happening with individual situations to see if there is a window of opportunity. If there is, and we go for it, we will accelerate learning. As we start to do this, we will gain experience in doing so. This means we will work less hard when it comes to our lessons because we will recognize them earlier.”

Stay alert! They’re Everywhere!

Keep in mind that relationship villains and windows of opportunity can be anywhere—which is why we have to open our eyes and watch for patterns and life scripts. Let me tell you about the strangest place (so far!) that I’ve discovered a window of opportunity waiting for me—in the grocery store! I went through a period where people were banging into my shopping cart and just plain being rude to me every time I went to pick up a loaf of bread or a quart of milk. It happened to me so often that I remember thinking, “why are people so rude here?” I tried switching grocery stores, but it still happened!

Then one day, as I was lunching with my friend, Terri Marinaro, I asked her for her take on the situation (hey, when you can’t spot your own life scripts, just ask your friends or family—they’ll happily tell you all about them!) Terri thought it would be a good idea to take a look at MY behavior and see if that would shed any light on the situation, and we developed the theory that maybe these grocery store incidents were not an accident (remember, I was in denial for a long time that I had a life script!)

Well, I started paying attention to my behavior whenever I went to the store, and guess what I found? Because I was always in a hurry, I had a tendency to look down instead of looking people in the eye. I also noticed that I experienced something close to “cart-rage” when someone bumped into me or cut me off. Next I realized that I had actually begun to expect the people I encountered at the store to be rude to me!

I was definitely co-creating a rude reality for myself, so I decided to try an experiment where I would pretend that everyone in the store was an angel in human form waiting to test me, and I was going to treat everyone as if they were angels. I started smiling at people and nodding “hello” as I passed them. I gave others the right of way, even when they were cutting me off, and I smiled when I did it. I even started letting people with one or two items jump ahead of me at the check-out line, even though I was in a hurry myself. And it worked! The rudeness in the grocery store stopped for me, and it’s very rare that anyone bumps me or cuts me off anymore. And if it happens, I still pretend they are angels testing me and I smile at them, and then I check myself to see if I’m the one who is being rude to other people without realizing it. My lesson here was patience, and it took a lot of bumped carts for me to learn it!

Windows show up everywhere, and so do Relationship Villains, which means that I continue to take the “GG’s” words to heart on a daily basis and watch for life scripts in every area of my life—especially in friendships and family relationships. You know, it wasn’t easy for me to do that mini-life review I told you about, just like it wasn’t easy to come to realization that I actually have life scripts! Looking for patterns and scripts—it’s work, and sometimes it’s painful work. But our rewards for recognizing Relationship Villains and Windows of Opportunity are pretty cool: accelerated learning with less drama and pain—definitely worth the effort!